I Keep Hitting a Brick Wall

17 Nov

Dear Diary,

I have a  half-brother. He’s ten months older than me. I’ve struggled to get to know him and right at this moment I’m fed up with hitting a brick wall.

There was an awful  mountain of hurt which lead up to me discovering he existed and I worked through that hoping I could one day forge a relationship with him. But sadly that doesn’t seem to be happening. I’m always trying to connect with my half-brother, thinking perhaps he wants the same: A sibling who cares.

I think I’m mistaken, painfully so.

Emails are ignored and when I bring this to his attention I receive an apology, which is nice, lovely even. But sadly, it’s just words. If somebody tells me they’re going to reply to my email, I believe them. After the third time without any such thing happening, I don’t know what to do.

The truth is, I don’t want to cut all contact with him. I just wish he would realise what he could have if he kept his word and stayed in contact. His lovely wife is pregnant with a little girl. I think of how thrilled my Nan would have been having a great-granddaughter and it makes me smile. I might not know the parents properly, but I’ll always be there for the baby. She’s my niece and I would do anything for her.

I guess I only wish my half-brother would understand how important family is. Sadly I can’t make this happen no matter how much I want it to. All I can do is be there for him when he finally decides he wants to talk.



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